I like this quote

OMGTeenQuotez (@OMGTeenQuotez) 1/13/11 9:44 PM When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.

- Ninna

Looking back at 2010

Family: After three years of not seeing my family, I got to see them in February! It was amazing. I didn't care how uncomfortable the flight was going there, all I wanted was to see them. The day after I got there, we (my mom, bro, bro's gf, and I) went to Boracay. It was fun. I missed the sun. I met up with a lot of friends. My cousins and I had a lot of get togethers. I had a welcome-home/birthday/reunion/despedida party. It was awesome. I missed a lot of family events. Birthdays, reunions, and weddings. Nakakapikon. Tough price to pay ... for what? Ewan.

Love: I let go of someone that has been special for a long time. It was a long overdue breakup. Not too bad of a break up though. We're still cool. I made new friends along the way then I met someone and he's been great. There are some challenges and complications but hopefully we can work through those. I really hope things work out because although I'm not old, I'm not super young either. No time to play around, not that I ever did. All I know is he's great. I just need to trust that he won't hurt me. I need to trust what he says. I need to let go of some things and accept the fact that I can't control and know everything.

Friends: I lost some friends, reconnected with some, got closer to some, and made new ones. Technology indeed does wonders.

Health: I've been blessed with a good health. Other than the occasional migraine and tummy issues, everything has been good.

School: Graduation happened in January. It was an amazing feeling to graduate for the second time. LOL. Nursing school was no joke. There were nights with only 30 minutes of sleep. There were days that all I saw was crap and butt coz I had to clean my patients. There were so many events that I couldn't go to because I had to study. I didn't go home for three years. Graduation really made me feel like it was worth it. Now the problem is to find a job. I went back to school to get the BSN degree. So far, so good. I just want to get it over with.

Work/Career: Although I have my RN license, I haven't been fortunate to land a job. But then again, I haven't really been applying so can't complain much.

Goals and Resolutions for 2011:
- Lose 15 lbs in 3 months. I already lost 5 the past month, so I know I can do it. I just need to commit to it.
- Find a new job.
- Learn how to trust.
- Be less of an anal control freak.

Random thoughts

I wanna watch The Script in a concert.

I hate liars.

I hate secrets.

I want a dog. Maybe a Puggle or Pomeranian.

I like Lindt chocolate.

I hate being ignored. Siguro nga ksp ako.

Mahirap

Mahal ko sha pero parang nahihirapan ako. I must practice the mantra that "I love me more" para nde ako apektado.

Ayoko talaga ng sinungaling. Once you lie, it's hard to build trust. Once you break the trust, it's hard to rebuild it. Ay ewan. Whatever happens happens.

Dec 23

The day started awesome. I went to the mall with my girls from work and had a little shopping bit. The night started out bad, but ended well. My feet are killing me but I had fun with my honey and cousin.

Random

Trust is important in a relationship. For it to be really trust, it must be unconditional. I don't know if I can do that. Due to past relationships, it's been really hard to trust. I have been better though. I guess that's partly due to what I've been doing to promote a better sense of well being.
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A friend just lent me a DVD of 30 day shred by Jillian Michael. I tried it tonight. It was great! My problem now is I want it too!! lol.
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Soon, I'm gonna do my recap of the year and my plan for 2011. I don't think I did any for 2009 going into 2010 coz I was busy with studying for NCLEX.

I love me!

My friends are awesome. They have kept me sane for the past months, years, decades. Recently, I have been having some personal issues and one of them gave me an advice that I have been doing, and it seems to be working. She told me to love me more so I can love others more. So now, every time I feel sad or depressed or not so confident, I think of what I can bring to the table. I think of how awesome I am, inside and out. I think of how great of a catch I am.

I am great. If you don't know or realize that, screw you! I don't need you in my life because you will just bring me down. I need to be surrounded by people who have a positive attitude and amazing outlook in life.

For 2011, I will love me more.

Tagal ...

... ko na din nde nagblog. Time to get back to venting and writing!! It's just fun to write. Ok lang even if nobody reads this, it's just a venting space. =)

I'm happy

There are challenges in life. A lot in fact. The challenges make us stronger.

Right now, I'm happy. He's good to me. There are obstacles, but we are both willing to work through it so that's a good sign.

All I ask for is honesty. Simple lang naman ako.

Birthday Wish List

In addition to my Christmas Wish list, these are other other things I want ...

- FROM VICKY's
= Racerback Tank Dress with Crochet Skirt (either black or brown)

= Canterbury Knit Nightie

= Lace Trimmed Satin Slip

= Chiffon Racerback Nightie

- FROM GARAGE
= Striped Sweater Dress


- FROM ALLOY
= Cozi Boot (Chocolate)
- Car charger for my phone (Blackberry Curve 8310)
- NCLEX reviewer book (I just hope it's not the same as what I have now, lol)
- Gift cards from the following stores:
= Victoria's Secret
= Barnes & Noble
= Garage
= PacSun
= Alloy
= Aeropostale
= Old Navy
= Nine West
= Aldo

Single Women Rule!

Today, I was introduced to 'Single Women Rule' website, an "international membership organization that encourages unmarried women to revel in life’s magic and feel truly fulfilled, whether the knight in shining (or newly refurbished) armor ever arrives." (SWR site)

It's very refreshing to read articles that are sincerely geared for women, and not in the way the society defines a "woman". I've only read a few articles and I must say that I really, really enjoyed them.

One of my favorites talks about SWR Dating Tips. In the article, the author (Keysha Whitaker - one of the cool people at my job) puts a different spin on Cosmo's Dating 101 article. Although I do enjoy peeking in Cosmo during my down time (that almost never happens), the theme of the magazine gets tiresome. The magazine usually encourages women to doll up and look yummy ... essentially making her a bait for the pig, as portrayed by Trojan commercials. Keysha's article however, is truly refreshing. SWR Dating Tip 3 is my favorite. Instead of smiling when you're out, snarl! If the guy continues to show interest despite the intimidation and ready-to-fight facial display, he might actually move from being of the swine family to the primate order.

Looking back at 2008

I usually write a month by month breakdown of things that happened but given the crazy year that I had, I don't think I have enough energy to do it. So ... I will do a recap ... best I could.

School: Nursing program started in January. First day of clinicals, I almost threw up because I had to clean a 70+ year old lady who had diarrhea and MRSA. Imagine me all gowned up with the usual precaution stuff and so paranoid that I'm gonna get MRSA and the crap all over me. I have never cleaned someone's poop before so that was a first. Ugh. This is going to sound very sadist but when I administered injections, I found it fun. LOL. It was very interesting. When the first semester ended, my classmates and I were so relieved. We went for a drink near school. That was fun. It was good to see people outside a controlled environment such as the school. I was shocked by some of their stories with their husbands (I think I'm one of the few who is not married). haha. The second semester was crazier because it was more in depth and so much more detailed. We weren't dealing with theories anymore, it was more organs/systems and the disease processes associated with each. Along with that, we had to know how to assess, diagnose, treat, manage, etc. each disease. I can honestly say, I cannot remember any of those at this very moment. Call it mental block or whatever. BUT if I'm in front of the patient, I can talk my ass off about the disease. I don't know why. I guess my brain works when it's put on the spot with the patient.

Work: Crazy as always. I now have a new boss. When it comes to responsibilities, it's not the same as before. I'd say a bit less than before. Actually, no, not less. It's about the same but I don't have the same set as before. Well, no. It is less coz I don't do some stuff anymore, but then some stuff were added to me. Whatever. Some of the people dear to me are no longer with the company. Some by choice, some were forced. There were several lay offs throughout the year. I'm fortunate enough not to be included in the list but hey, there's always next year.

Friends: Well, I don't have the same support system that I have back home. I do have very close friends here but it's still different compared sa Pinas. Back home, 1 text or 1 call, the barkada is there for you. I miss my friends back home. I miss my Ate Kaye coz she's like my best friend. I miss my parnter in crime RiaMigs. I miss my sis Penny with our coffee escapades. I miss Cla and Cathy with our all-nighter-conference calls. I miss my college kada eventhough we don't see each other much coz whenever we do, it's always super fun. I miss Nitropeeps with the wackiness and laughs. BUT, I'm still thankful for my friends here sa US and Canada. They're great people. Awesome companions.

Health: Well, I'm doing better. The thing that I had before is gone so I'm ok now. Healing good. But since school will start soon, I'm gonna get so stressed again so I'll have more migraines. Ugh.

Family: I miss them so much. Soooooo much. I only see them on webcam and pictures that my cousins post on different sites. =( It's depressing, especially during the holidays and birthdays coz I know they all meet up. We had several deaths in the family recently. My uncle, my grandfather (my mom's mom's brother) and my great-grand uncle (my mom's mom's uncle) passed away just this month. We also had several births ... my godson Jaden and my niece ... ZJ's sister (ZJ is my other godson) .... whose name I forgot (sorry Kuya RJ, hehe).

Partner: JM is great. It started out fun, but now, it's not fun. IT's FREAKIN' AWESOME!!! I've never felt this way before. I've never been this excited to see someone other than family. It's amazing. I'm not annoyed, I'm not irritated, I'm not tired of seeing him. In fact, I can't get enough of him. Things are very difficult, that I'm not going to deny, but he makes me so happy. A lot of sakura moments and tailed fox moments but, we get through it. It's a mature relationship, but not boring at all. I don't think I've ever been bored. Ever. Always fun, always interesting, always on my toes.

Myself: I've always thought of myself as a "do-it-yourself" kind of person. Don't get me wrong, if I need help, I will ask for it. I am not too proud to ask for help if I really need it. I'm usually a strong individual, I don't like appearing weak or stupid coz I know I'm not. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet. Not have to depend on someone to validate my existence. I don't like the feeling of frustration and aggravation when things don't go my way. (Yes, I am a little spoiled, just a little.) I hate feeling frustrated about something coz my chest tightens and I can't breathe well ... it can actually be seen on my face if I'm frustrated.

Resolutions for next year:
- Since I've been pretty much a snob this year, I'll try not being a snob this year. I don't even say hello to people. I don't even look up. I just look at my phone or look at the ground. Can't. Have to be improve my confidence.
- I have to be more confident, be less insecure about things I shouldn't be insecure about. I should start worrying about things that really matter.
- I must improve my time management skills. Along with that, I should know what to prioritize.
- Must be able to plan a successful ANL.
- Save money! Spend less! Save more!! Much more!!
- Know how to relax, unwind and reduce the stress.
- Finish school without problems. I have to be ready for the boards.

Holiday na naman =(

It's that time of the year that I love. It's the time we have reunions. I get to see all my relatives and drink til the wee hours or until someone throws up, lol. It's the time for company parties and get togethers with different friend circles ... highschool, college, first job. BUT alas, that only happens when I'm back home.

Here, I do have friends but, it's not the same. My life-network is in the Philippines. Sa Pinas, isang text lang, anjan na ang mga pinsan ko or barkada ko, ready to listen or just simply be there for me if I don't feel too well. May break-up or relationship problem ka? Isang tawag lang, anjan na ang reinforcements to keep your chin up. Dito, mashadong busy ang mga tao. Not to be a hypocrite naman, ako rin naman ay busy sa work school etc. Pero shempre, iba pa din pag anjan lang si Ate Kaye sa first door, kahit itext ko ng midnight, pwede kami magusap sa garahe (which we've done before). Or tawagan ang mga pinsan at maginuman sa garahe. Or tawagan si Ria at magkita kami sa Del Monte. Or si Cathy and Cla, magkita kami sa may Timog. Or my sisterettes sa Orchard, sa aming coffee getaways. Or mga La Salle kada, sa Makati. Or mga eTel/Nitro peeps, sa kung saan mang sulok at kung kanino mang bagay.

Well, ganun talaga ang buhay. Nakakaloka. Pero ika nga nila, whatever doesn't kill you, makes you a hell lot stronger. I think I've endured a lot of stuff in my 3+ years away from family and the friendships I've built over the years. I know I've changed. I'm not as timid as I once was. I'm not afraid to speak up anymore (well, sometimes ... after weighing the consequences of course.) I won't let someone walk all over me if I can help it. Haaay naku.

Basta, I miss my family more during Christmas and New Year's Day. I used to identify holidays with family. Now, it's more like "an extra day of rest and eating". The meaning is different, at least until I spend it with my family again. =)

Thanksgiving

What am I thankful for this year ...

- family

- health (yes, I'm alive and getting better!)

- KC

- tender moments

- friends

- education

- little luxuries in life

- the fleeting joys

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

My Christmas Wish List

Well, this list is not strictly for Christmas. This is valid until my birthday (Feb. 19). LOL.

The following items are from GARAGE ... my fave clothing store.





These next items are from Victoria's Secret





I also LOVE silver accessories ... particularly earrings and necklaces. The shape I prefer is heart ... but circle/round, star and cross are also great. If it's a set of earrings and necklace, awesome!! If not, still awesome!! I lost my anklet in a recent trip so ...

Pwede din boots! Here are some samples, but what I'm looking for either a brown sort of formal pair that I can wear with "business casual clothes" and either black or brown or white that I can wear with the my casual skirts.



Another thing I want to get ... a new bag/pocketbook. The one I'm using now is kinda breaking already. hehe.

If you want to be on the "things needed" side, I would highly appreciate NCLEX review books. Those, I can never get enough of. Plus, it will be good for school. 0=) --> that's me with a halo. haha.

OR the other things that I have wished for from the beginning ...
- Plane ticket
- Cruise
- Vacation
- Spa treatment
- Snow boarding or Skiing

AND for my baby:



If you can't decide ... gift cards from the following places are also good:
- Victoria's Secret
- Barnes and Noble



That's it for now!!

75 Nonsense Questions

1.) Are you really ready for 1-75 questions?

- bring it on. (while i'm taking a break from studying)

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> 2) Was your last ex boyfriend/girlfriend a mistake?

- everything happened, happens and will happen for a reason

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> 3) Do you believe in God?

- yes

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> 4) Who did you last say I love you to?

- my lil cousin

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> 5) Do you regret it?

- of course not

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> 6) Have you ever been depressed?

- depressed, sure. but not diagnosed as clinically depressed

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> 7) Have a best friend?

- yep

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> 8) Are you a boy or girl?

- girl po

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> 9) What is your relationship status?

- happily seeing someone

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> 10) How do you want to die?

- painless

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> 11) What did you last eat?

- cheeseburger for lunch ... oh wait, it's 11 pm already, di ako nagdinner

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> 12) Do you play an instrument..

- not really

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> 13) Do you bite your nails?

- nope

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> 14) When was your last physical fight?

- hmmm. can't remember.

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> 15) Tom from MySpace is about to go to jail what’s your first thought?

- i wonder what he did

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> 16) Do you have an attitude?

- if i'm annoyed, yes ... you'll see it on my face.

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> 17) Ever been in love?

- yes

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> 19) Like reading?

- it depends what i'm reading

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> 20) Are you gonna get high later?

- hell no. i'm asleep later.

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> 21) Do you hate anyone at the moment?

- no. well, sort of. uhm, i don't know.

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> 22) Do you miss someone?

- yes ... a lot =(

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> 23) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?

- cut and twirl!

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> 24) Who is your best friend's uncles cousin girlfriends daughter?

- the who? the what?

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> 25) Do you tan a lot?

- last I went to beach was July, I still have a tan

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> 26) Have any pets?

- pogi the pogi cat

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> 27) How exactly are you feeling?

- sluggish

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> 28) Ever ate food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?

- a lot!!

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> 29) Have you ever started a rumor?

- uhm, hahaha, guilty

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> 30) Are Barbie & Ken bad influences on people?

- i'm not a big fan

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> 31) Do you regret anything from your past?

- again ... evertyhing happens for a reason

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> 32) What are your political views

- go obama!

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> 33) Do you want to have kids?

- someday. NOT NOW.

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> 34) Ever kissed somebody that name starts with a J?

- uhm, sort of.

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> 35) Do you type fast?

- yes

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> 36) Do you have piercings?

- other than ears, no.

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> 37) Want any more?

- yes.

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> 38) Can you spell well?

- most of the time. except some medical terms.

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> 39) Do you miss your past?

- college ... and last job, yes.

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> 40) What are you craving right now?

- ch

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> 41) What should you be doing?

- sleeping

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> 42) Own a Cell Phone ?

- yes

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> 43) What is your cell number?

- it's a 10-digit number

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> 44) Does somebody love you?

- yes =)

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> 45) What is your favorite color/s?

- blue, gray, black, white, brown

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> 46) So are you liking this survey?

- Blah.

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> 47) Is it too personal?

- no

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> 48) Do you have trust issues?

- uhm. sort of.

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> 49) Who was the last person you kissed?

- jm

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> 50) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

- sort of.

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> 56) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

- outside my room? yes.

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> 57) Do you think you’re a good person?

- more or less. haha.

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> 58) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

- deja vu! i just said that!

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> 59) Do you take showers?

- everyday!

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> 60) When is the last time you cried?

- a few days ago.

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> 61) What is bothering you?

- sakura moments

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> 62) Do you play the Wii?

- last i played was a few months ago

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> 63) Who has inspires you the most?

- family =)

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> 64) What is your favorite quote?

- "Kapag gusto, may paraan. Kapag ayaw, may dahilan."

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> 65) Are you excited your almost done with this survey?

- sure, whatever.

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> 66) Are you mean?

- not normally.

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> 67) Can you keep white shoes clean?

- haha, no. not really.

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> 70) Are you easily annoyed?

- no, not really. i don't think so.

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> 71) Do you believe in love at first sight?

- nope

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> 73) Do you like someone?

- yes

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> 74) Does he/she likes you back?

- yes

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> 75) When did u find out that your starting to like that person

- when i just wanted to be around that person even if there's no conversation going on. just being around him made me happy.