morning tears

when i got in the office, i went through my normal routine. part of which is reading the emails i got after i left the office the day before. when i saw an email from my cousin (Ate Kaye), i got excited. (i love getting email from my family!) we have been talking about a lot of things lately. her last email had this in the last part though ...

"miss ka na rin namin! tom is lola belen's 40th day :) ... tapos sa birthday nya sa dec 17 magpaparty kme sa loyola hehe :) "

... it made me really sad. i feel so helpless that i can't be with them. i told my officemate (Marion) that i wanna go home. she asked if i was feeling sick, i said "no, i'm just too sad". i was actually on the verge of crying. then i told her about my cousin's email and she said if it makes me feel any better, on my grandma's bday ... we could have a toast in her memory. she said that she doesn't want me feeling too sad. then marsha (another officemate) came up to us and said that she'll also toast with us. then i really cried. (this is my first time to cry at the office with someone seeing me. coz usually, when i cry in the office, i make no one can see me)

afterwhich we had a discussion about death and life. that death is something to be happy about, and life to be something mourned. coz our loved ones who've passed away are relieved of the pain and/or sickness that made them suffer when they were alive.

anyway, i just feel so sad that my family is having a lot of gatherings ... they're gonna get together for my grandma's 40th day and her birthday. plus, they're gonna have our yearly reunion during christmas and new year ... ¤=(

the only gift that would make me super duper uuuuuuber happy this christmas is a plane ticket to the philippines. or have all my family go here, and i mean all ... my mom, brothers, grandpa, cousins, aunts & uncles, sis/bro/cousin of my grandparents.

**sensha na ... album moment itoh. hehe. (pictures are from Christmas 2004)

relay game


dede game




presentations





posing for the camera








manyakan blues



inuman time





aguinaldo giving

my gosh, it will be a long time bago ko makasama ulit family ko for christmas. =(