my day started lousy ... it ended lousy.

first, i isolated myself from people ... i was sooooooo not in the mood to socialize, dunno why. most of the calls i got were inquiries or f*ckin irate customers who don't have anything better to do than piss off other people. then, i realize that i didn't bring anything for lunch ... which left me to an itsy bitsy piece of crunch as the only meal for the day. but oh ... it doesn't end there. i miss the bus by 30 seconds. if i didn't wait for the elevator, i should've been on that bus. damn. so i had to walk to another bus stop to wait for another bus.

i got home after an uphill walk from the bus stop to the house (which was no problem coz i sorta got used to it plus i like my "time alone"). then, found an email for me ... dunno if i'll be sad or relieved. he agreed to the breakup i suggested. so ... it got me thinking of all the happy moments plus the not so good moments. i suddenly broke into tears. i wanted to go to a beach or lake or river but, don't have the means to as of that moment. i resorted to having a long walk. i went out ... walked to (God knows) where ever my feet would take me. after walking to a school, i sat at the benches and just reflected on things. what happened, what i'm gonna do, is this right, is that right, the how to of things ...basically, my thoughts were all over the place. of course, i cried again. after that, i went for a couple of rounds on the track then headed back home. when i got home, i had a hearty meal (so goodbye workout!) and now, i'm listening to my old-time-fave-break-up song ... Evanescence' Bring Me to Life, My Immortal and Going Under.

even after all that walk and thinking and all ... i'm still lost. i still dunno if i'm doing the right thing. well, only time can tell i guess.