this sucks

still don't have a job ... still don't have my own place ... and my grandma is sick. the doctor found cyst in her kidney and liver. there's no definite diagnosis and cure yet. they'll finalize the finding tomorrow. another thing i hate, i'm not in the Philippines with my family. i know i can't do much to help them but i still wanna be there for them. shiet, i don't know what i would do if my grandma ... well, you know. shiet. i'm crying just by the mere thought of it.